The Nursery



I wanted the room to feel like the Forbidden Forest at twilight, very soft and calming. You know, before all the scary things come out to play!

Close up of the mobile; View when you walk in

Bean's nursery is most definitely a Harry Potter theme! But unlike many of the pinterest ideas you may have seen, Bean's is much more subtle. I went for a nursery that would be calming, somewhere I would be happy to accidentally fall asleep and wake up to the sound of his screaming. The tones are grey, beige, yellow, and white. I have tried to include links to all the décor but if I missed something check out my pinterest page on the subject! I had a whole year to think about ideas for his nursery and I must say I love how it all came out!



Mamaroo, Crib, and rocking chair

 The mamaroo was found on craigslist for half the price of one you would buy in the store. This thing is so fancy and amazing! You can control it with your phone. Hopefully Bean will like it! If not, there is always my arms...that is until they fall off.
The crib we bought at the Navy Exchange store (NEX). We were able to use the scratch card coupon as well as a rebate to get it down in price. That was one of the few items I really wanted to buy new. I was nervous about buying an old crib, for fear of safety. The rocking chair is also new and bought at the NEX. I could not for the life of me find a chair that I liked on craigslist. They were all very old and very ugly.


rocking chair and changing table, both with custom artwork above

The changing table was bought new at the NEX, it was a part of a set that matched the crib. When I first bought it, I thought for sure that would be plenty of room for all of his things. Well, add in diapers, clothes, wipes, and every other little thing you didn't realize you needed until you spend hours reading baby blogs (not recommended) and you realize you also need a dresser!

To the right of the changing table is the diaper pail. No review on it yet but hoping that it works out well! You can find it here as well as the liner in slate.

Dresser

The dresser was a steal! I found it, brand-new in the box, at goodwill. The goodwill here in Hawaii has a partnership with Target. Any of Target's remnant furniture gets sent straight to them, it is amazing!! The color of the dresser is a bit hard to see but it is a very dark espresso color. I like this color because I see it growing with Bean and being used until he heads off to college!

To the left of the dresser is a Baby Bjorn rocker and googly eye wooden toy. This is my most awesome steal! I bought the whole thing for $30 from a lady on facebook. If you know anything about Baby Bjorn products you know how great that deal is! Figured I needed something portable in order to take a shower.

Bookshelves snugly hidden behind the door to the
nursery along with a measuring stick for growth

 The bookshelves behind the door were our biggest project. It involved quite a bit of time and effort, but they definitely came out beautifully. Check out the tutorial here on how to make them. I love how these allow the books to be displayed, my only complaint is that they did not hold as many books as I thought they would. Many of his books are hidden away in the closet.









 There were many projects that I completed in Bean's room and the sign above the bookshelf is another one. We had an old piece of plywood in the garage and since I had some leftover stain and white paint I decided to make this guy really quick one evening (can't you tell Bean is my first child? I have time! Haha). The idea was taken from here, but I used my own font and changed the wording a smidgen. If the font I used looks familiar, it is because it is the same used in the printed Harry Potter books: Garamond.





I absolutely love this blanket! It is covered in owls and was made by Bean's paternal grandmother. The yellows and greys really tie the whole room together and make it more obvious that we are having a Harry Potter party in here! It is a fleece blanket and I imagine she bought the fabric from a local craft store.

The pouf was made by me and is supposed to look like a snitch. After I bought the rocking chair, I realized I needed a place to put my feet up. I bought the fabric at a local store here in Hawaii, it is a velvet fabric that is mustard yellow in color. I bought a very cheap bean bag chair and slaughtered it in order to get the stuffing. I found that option cheaper than buying stuffing outright. I sewed the wings on after making the pouf, but realized I should have sewn the wings on before stuffing the pouf. The darn thing was sooo difficult to work with! I used the basic tutorial found here and then sort of "winged it" for the snitch wings. See what I did there?




Crib Mobile

 I based the design for the mobile on one I had found on etsy a very, very long time ago. Unfortunately, that design was no longer available and I had to make my own. There was no tutorial and I had to go with my gut. Luckily, I love crafting! I bought white, beige, brown, and yellow felt along with yellow ribbon for the halo and clear string (you can just use fishing wire) to hold it up. After free-hand cutting the pieces I sewed them together and stuffed them. Only took me about an hour to create and only cost a total of $5! Hooray!










The bedding was one of the few things that I did splurge on. He actually has nicer bedding that we do! The bedding is called Super Star Scout and can be found many different places. It is by Aden and Anais and is a 100% cotton muslin bedding. While he does have this very nice bedding, I also am a realist! I went to Ross and bought some $5 sheets for the times when he is puking or having diarrhea (aka, the first year of his life). This bedding will be reserved for when Santa, in-laws, and the Easter bunny make an appearance.


Bed with star bedding

This little owl bank is really one of the most special things in his room. I painted it at one of those paint-it-yourself places in the mall on the day that I found out I was pregnant. 19 March 2015 will always be remembered because it was the day my dream came true.

The angel care monitor is really too fancy to explain here, but you can find amazon reviews here. Basically, anything that had a high-tech option my husband sprang for! Haha.


The owl money bank that I painted the day we found out we were pregnant with Bean




Frames, ready for his tiny mug, foot, and handprints!

These little hand/foot print and first year frames were too cute to resist! I love the idea of having an excuse to take pictures of him all the time. They can be found here.

I found the idea for the Wingardium Leviosa cross stitch here but couldn't resist adding my own colors and flair to it. I had leftover fabric from the pouf and wanted to tie that mustard yellow color into the room more.












The artwork above the changing table was done by my husband's TALENTED sister. She created the chalkboard frames and wrote the quotes free hand. When I opened them at the baby shower I was so ecstatic I think I didn't say a word. They are absolutely perfect!! I love them so much.



"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light". Definitely need this in my face at 3am after a feeding. Bahahahaha!

 The inspiration for this measuring stick came from my own experience as a military brat. We moved around a fair bit and my Mom would always keep track of our growth on a kitchen wall. When we moved the wall couldn't come with us, so the information was lost. Marrying into the military I knew that I wanted something portable and beautiful. You can find basic instructions here, I used a gray stain and a simple white paint. The quote is from Dumbledore and something that I truly believe in. I am a teacher by trade and feel that this defines so many of my students.

The switch plate was another idea I found on etsy. I changed the colors a little bit to add in the gray that I wanted throughout the room. Only thing I wish I would have done is spray it with some sort of shellac to prevent scuffs. Might have to go back and do that!










Another idea I found on etsy, but the colors/graphics weren't perfect! I wanted more beige, grey, and mustard yellow. Using PowerPoint I created my own poster and then printed it off for $10 on shutterfly.com.

Bean's actual picture along with some of the necessary books

 I was so happy to receive a copy of the ILLUSTRATED version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. This means I might be able to introduce Bean to my favorite series earlier than expected. Hooray! You can order your copy here.




The two outfits I will bring with me to the hospital. Notice the size difference! I am hoping he is more likely the size on the left than the size on the right!





Air Force brat!

Finding Bean

Our journey to getting pregnant began long ago, in a country far, far away. Haha! Just kidding. While we did talk about children while we were stationed in Japan, we didn't think about starting a family until we moved to Tucson, Arizona. By that point, our student loans were paid off, we had bought a house, and we were creating a little nest egg to help us afford the things every child needs (or at least, what we think they need).

We tried naturally for about 3 months before Kurt deployed in 2013. Pregnancy did not happen for us and we were alright with that because we knew we could try again when he returned. After his return we tried naturally again for another 6 months. I was more hopeful upon his return because I thought the birth control drugs would have completely worked their way out of my system. When we continued to have problems we decided to see a specialist.

After seeing the specialist for several months, enduring many tests and several IUIs (intra-uterine inseminations) we decided to opt for exploratory surgery. On June 15th, 2014 I underwent a hysteroscopy. They sedated me, filled my stomach cavity with air, and made three small incisions. One through my belly button and two right about where my ovaries are. They looked on the outside of my uterus as well as inside with tiny cameras. They discovered that I had endometriosis as well as polyps on my left ovary and fallopian tube. Fortunately, they were able to remove both issues!

Recovery from the surgery was painful and it was about a week and a half before I was able to feel like myself again. Our doctor told us that the surgery would hold back the endometriosis for about 6 months but that, unless I became pregnant, the endometriosis would grow back.

We started up again with the IUI routine. Every month I would inject myself with hormones and swallow pills, take Kurt's sample to the doctor, go through the procedure, and hope that the procedure would work.

Around October 2014 we got our first sign of good news, I was finally pregnant! We were so overjoyed at the news because it meant that I actually could have children. Everything was going well, but at the 6 week appointment (mid-December) we discovered that the pregnancy had miscarried. In many ways, miscarrying so early in the pregnancy was a huge blessing. I did not yet connect with the fetus on an emotional level and I was still riding high on the fact that it was actually possible to get pregnant. I was so filled with joy and excitement over what the future might hold that the miscarriage did not affect me too terribly. I was sad, but I was also relieved that this elusive unicorn called pregnancy could happen for me.

After the miscarriage, on the 19th of December 2014, I had a "D&C" (dilation and curettage) to remove the tissue still inside my uterus. This was the most difficult procedure I had to go through, not because of the loss of the fetus but because of the lack of communication between my doctor and myself. The doctor never told me they were going to give me drugs that would wipe my memory. When I "woke up" from the procedure I was completely disoriented and didn't understand why my pants were being put back on by the aides. The two nurses aides helped me to a recovery room where I laid on a gurney for about 30 minutes. I felt completely normal, except for this nagging feeling that I had been lied to and taken advantage of in some way. The recovery for that procedure was very easy, sort of like having a strong period. The anger I felt towards my doctor is something I still struggle with.

In January of 2015 we started again with the IUI regiment. Our doctor told us that we did not need to wait after the miscarriage and encouraged us to start trying again right away. We gave ourselves two chances to get pregnant via IUI. If it did not work we would spring for the big bucks (~$10,000) and do IVF (in-vitro fertilization). The IUI procedure only cost us about $350 every time we did it and it was difficult for me to wrap my head around spending that much money on IVF, especially with no guarantee! At the same time, I was working full-time which helped very much to support the costs of our pregnancy quest. Of course, between moving and trying to get pregnant my salary for the year was all but spent!

The January IUI did not take and we knew we had one more before we would commit to IVF. We were moving in July and the whole IVF process takes about 3 months. We wanted to give ourselves enough time to have a chance before moving to Hawaii (where IVF starts at $25,000).

Our February IUI was also not successful, instead we conceived Bean naturally!!! The doctor was quite confused when Bean's little sack of cells came on the monitor. Doing the math, he knew that Bean was conceived after the IUI. Part of me was angry we had spent all this money, when what we really needed to be doing was having sex every day of the year! The IUI was not successful because my egg released well after the procedure. My natural cycle is to release an egg about every 6 weeks. The hormone therapy and shots were meant to force my body to release an egg at a certain time. My ovaries were so stubborn that even with drugs they refused to release the egg before it was ready.

Once I knew I was pregnant I had to go to a doctor's appointment every week. They would use a special wand and complete a vaginal ultrasound (I think we have more pictures of Bean in the first trimester than most parents get of their baby in utero for the length of the pregnancy). Every week I would build up my excitement and anxiety, will it still be alive? If it's not what will we do? We can't afford to do IVF in Hawaii! Maybe we would adopt? I don't know if I can do that?! Every week this same stressful cycle would hit me, wave after wave. On top of that I was unable to keep anything down. Puking was the norm and I was starting to feel like I was going to slowly die as this parasite literally sucked the life out of me! In reality, I only lost 8 pounds in the first trimester. Luckily, the hormone treatments had made me a little fluffier so I ended up looking a little lighter than I did in high school (~125 pounds at my lowest weight)!

After the first trimester was over I felt like a completely normal person again. I was so happy! But now we were moving to Hawaii. I was nervous about the amount of stress but set out to plan everything in order to mitigate the stress levels. It definitely helped!

The whole business of moving to Hawaii was not exactly a piece of cake, but it is now over. I can now focus on what is important: giving birth to this child I have wished and hoped for so long.

I am at 36 weeks now. I keep thinking about all the women that are struggling to get pregnant. I wanted to share my story because you need to know you are not alone. I would say about half of my friends have struggled in some way and the other half have had no problems. I was surprised that it did not come easy for me but I truly believe that I needed to go on this journey. I don't know if I would be as excited about having this baby if I didn't have to put so much time, effort, pain, money, and tears into the whole process. My only worry now is (a) spoiling him (b) over-protecting him (c) putting too many expectations on him. It's difficult not to put all your hopes and dreams into your child when you have fought so hard to get him.

Best wishes on your journey, I hope the path you are on leads you to peace and happiness.

Sarah