Christmas 2015 Newsletter

6 January 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

This year has been one of our most challenging and exhilarating yet!  We experienced many joys and a few sorrows but through it all we focused on what is important: family.

In December 2014 we also said goodbye to our Italian Exchange student, Lucy. She returned to Italy at the end of December and we were sad to see her go.

January 2015 was a time of refocus as we knew that we were going to be moving somewhere in the summer. We started making improvements to the outside and inside of the house in Tucson. While the landscaping went through several phases we finally decided on a low-maintenance seroscaping option.

February was a time of love and heartbreak as we said goodbye to our dear friends, the Diamonds. They left for a new post and we could only take heart in know that we would soon leave Tucson too. During this same time we said hello! To Kurt’s Grandpa who came down to visit. We are hoping that he will visit us in Hawaii too so that we can get an elusive 4 generations picture!

 

In March we visited the Grand Canyon and Sedona. I did not know it at the time but I was a few weeks pregnant! We took it easy for fear of disturbing anything that might be happening in my tummy. Fortunately our efforts paid off! We also had a visit from Sadie, one of Sarah’s very good friends. Our favorite moment was hearing a pack of coyotes howling in surround sound all around us.

 

 

April and May were a time to focus on education. Sarah was finishing up teaching at Pueblo Magnet High School. Kurt went to Pullman for his sister Katy’s graduation. Unfortunately, Sarah could not attend because it was the last few weeks of school for her but she was glad Kurt could go back to his Alma Mater for the first time in years!

June and July were focused on moving all of our things out of the house in Tucson and making our way towards Honolulu, HI! We spent time visiting family and friends in San Jose, CA and Seattle, WA. While in Seattle, Kurt’s mother and sisters threw us a baby shower. We were so grateful to them as we knew that once we got to Honolulu we would be friend and family-less for a couple of months.

August and September saw us choose to live on base instead of buying a home of our own. Proximity to work and cost of living were the key reasons for our choice. We could not be happier living on base! Kurt is about a two minute drive from home, something Sarah is most grateful for now that Harrison has arrived.

October and Novermber were filled with preparations for Harrison’s arrival. Buying a ton of things and setting up those tons of things took quite a lot of time. That, combined with the many doctor appointments Sarah had, saw these last two months fly by.

 

In December Harrison finally made his arrival. Despite being due on Thanksgiving Day he decided to share his birthday month with his Aunt Jennifer and Baby Jesus. He has a lot of competition! We are so grateful that he decided to choose us as his parents. We are overwhelmed with gratitude and poop. But mostly poop.

We are also grateful for having been sent to Hawaii for our next station. A new baby and paradise is the perfect combination to attract relatives to visit. We already have folks visiting in the months of February, April, May, June, and July! Help us fill up our calendar more! We love having visitors, especially Sarah. Being a stay-at-home Mom might end up making her a little stir-crazy. Visit us to relieve the monotony!

Love to all!

Kurt, Sarah, Harrison, Goo, Yoshi, and Momo

 

Harrison's Birth Story

Written on 12/15/2015 and for a few days following

Happy one week birthday my beautiful baby boy. I am laying in a hospital bed right next to you. You are fast asleep in your bassinet all bundled up.

Your birthday is December 8th, 2015 at 02:04 AM. I went in for a checkup on Monday, December 7th and my blood pressure was much too high (179/110). They diagnosed me with preeclampsia, the only cure for which is giving birth. I remember clearly the midwife coming in and telling me that I could have seizures, permanent brain injury, or die if I was not treated immediately. Imagine a super-intense Tinker Bell with no sense of humor (she really did look like Tinker Bell). They decided to strip my membranes to try and get the labor going. I thought this was going to hurt but it did not hurt at all, I even yawned during the procedure! The nurse told me that I was 1 centimeter dilated and 75% effaced. This gave me hope because it meant I was close to starting labor on my own before the interventions. They also decided to use a foley bulb to help me dilate more quickly. Again, I thought this would hurt but it did not. Thank goodness!

I was given magnesium (Epsom salt solution) to lower my blood pressure, unfortunately it is also a muscle relaxant so they had to give me Pitocin too. I was grateful they were willing to let me start at the lowest dose and work my way up to the dose that would be effective. I think this made it much easier on me. While I was waiting for the contractions to start, my water broke on its own. I remember sitting in the bed and feeling this warm gentle gush of water. I told Kurt that I thought my water broke, the nurses came in thinking that I probably just peed the bed but after testing the water they agreed that it had indeed broken!

The magnesium meant that I had to stay in the bed the entire time and get a catheter. Magnesium makes your legs weak and put me at a risk of falling. I am not sure why I had to get a catheter but it turned into a good thing after the birth. At first I was very upset by being bed bound because I felt like walking around would feel so much better than on the bed. Luckily the class that I took, BESTbirth Hawaii, helped me think outside the box. I had the exercise ball put on the bed and I draped the front half of my body over it with my knees on the bed. I stayed in this position for most of the labor as it made my contractions the least painful.

Once the foley bulb came out (at 4 centimeters) it did not take me that long to fully dilate. I watched Maleficent (the movie) while my contractions became stronger and stronger. This helped pass the time and gave me something to look at and hear while I experienced the contractions. By the time the movie was over the contractions were coming so quickly that watching a second movie, Cinderella, ended up not happening.

The nurses eventually came in and thought that my cervix was fully dilated, I had said that I felt the urge to push, so I began pushing on my hands and knees. They soon realized a little bit of my cervix was still in the way. They asked me to stop pushing and breathe through the contractions. This was, by far, the hardest part of labor. It was almost impossible for me not to push. They again had me lay on my side so they could check my cervix again. I can remember trying so hard to breathe through the contractions but being completely unable to. I kept yelling, "SORRY!!!" every time I would have a contraction and push without being able to stop.

Luckily this phase did not last very long and I was able to begin pushing again. The trouble being that I could no longer push by squatting. I really liked the position but I was so exhausted I didn't have the energy to stay on my hands and knees anymore. They suggested I lay on my side but that was by far the most painful position out of all of them. The nurses suggested I lay on my back because they could help me get him out more easily. At this point I was basically delirous and would have done anything anyone told me.

I laid on my back and the nurses took position on either side of my legs. They also had stirrups that my legs could rest on in-between contractions. When I felt a contraction coming they would take my legs into their hands and I would push against them and bear down. It felt like a massive poop but then would shift into something stronger. I could feel his head slowly moving down but it really felt like a monstrous bowel movement!

At this point I was pushing but I was still dealing with the extreme exhaustion. I was having difficulty breathing rhythmically and was beginning to loose control. They would have me push four times for every contraction and I could not keep up with the breathes.

They turned the oxygen on and had Kurt hold the mask over my face in-between contractions. This was helpful because for every breath I felt like I was finally getting air. unfortunately, the mask also gave me feelings of claustrophobia. It was difficult to stay calm and focus. I had to keep bringing myself back to focusing on the breathing.

I was told the pushing lasted two hours but it didn't feel like it did. In fact, the whole labor entered this time warp. I think in my mind everything happened more quickly than it did. Pushing felt like it only lasted a couple of minutes, maybe 20 or 30.

After a while of pushing I could tell that he was getting close to coming out. The doctors and nurses were all encouraging me and getting more and more excited. Just before this, when I had first laid down the doctor had put his hands inside my birth canal and turned Harrison a little bit (or at least that's what it felt like). Whatever he really did it was meant to help Harrison come out faster and it seemed like it worked.

Breathing after each contraction I could feel the pain but during pushing I felt very little. That is until he started crowning! That was an interesting moment because I could feel pain but knew it would be over if I could just get him out. It wasn't a ripping pain. More of a pain you get when you cut your finger with a knife on accident. It only lasted a few seconds and he was out.

The moment he came out all I felt was relief. It didn't even dawn on me I had pushed a child out of my body. But then they lifted him up to my chest and he was crying. I was given a wet, slippery baby and he was mine. I don't really remember feeling much of anything except relief and awe that I had done this incredible thing. I do remember looking over at my mother-in-law and saying her name a few times. I didn't see Kurt before they started working on me again. He was behind my head supporting me without looking too close, haha! 

After Harrison had been on me for about a minute the doctor offered up the cord for me to cut. Somehow I found I had a pair of scissors in my hand. I asked if the cord had stopped pulsing and the doctor confirmed. I then used the scissors to cut the cord. It reminded me of cutting up chicken with kitchen shears. After I cut only one drop of blood oozed out of the cord. I was so grateful we were able to do delayed cord clamping. 

They sat me a little ways up in the bed so that Harrison was sloped on my chest but the doctor could still look in-between my legs. I felt him tugging on my placenta with the cord and I had to ask him to stop. I think he was surprised that I had the awareness to ask him to stop. He looked up and explained that he was helping it out. After he was done he found a small piece of placenta still inside so he reached in and scooped it out with his hand. It did not hurt at all. I was a little annoyed that he didn't wait a little more and be patient.

After that I believe a different doctor, or maybe the same, stitched three stitches where I tore. I remember saying, "ow" and it did hurt but it wasn't as painful as birth and I was so exhausted that pain was secondary to being able to rest. That is, until they massaged my uterus.

While Harrison was still on me the nurse used their hands to deeply massage my stomach. It was so incredibly painful and I remember crying out and asking them to stop. The only thing I could do was breathe through the pain and focus on Harrison. Massaging my uterus was the most painful part of giving birth. Just after the first massage (yes, they massaged me every hour!) they sat me up the bed. I said, "I'm going to throw up!" but before they could react I immediately projectile vomited. I threw up all over the doctors and nurses. It was like a scene from the exorcism! Thankfully it was mostly water and didn't have a lot of chunks or food in it.

That was everyone's cue to slowly start leaving. It was a surprise how quickly everyone filtered out of the room. Soon Kurt and I were left alone with this baby plastered on my stomach in the dark. Every hour a nurse would come in to, once again, massage my uterus and make me moan out in pain. Then a pediatrician came to check on Harrison and see that he passed all his developmental tests. Thankfully, he did!

As those first few hours passed, I wish they had brought in a lactation consultant almost immediately. Of course, giving birth at 2 am makes achieving that goal a little difficult. I had no idea what I was doing when it came to feeding Harrison. This caused him to latch poorly which caused my nipples to bleed. He became dehydrated and developed low blood sugar. While the doctors and nurses said he would have developed low blood sugar regardless, I feel that not being able to get my colostrum hindered his ability to thrive. I was able to pump ~16 mL of colostrum on my first try. Stuff was in there, he just couldn't get it out!

I was surprised at how quickly it all went. I'm sure for Kurt and Ginny it felt like an eternity but I went into this strange mental zone where hours passed quickly. I never used much of the pain reducing things I thought I would: tennis ball, back massager, rice sock. I DID use the exercise ball and I am so grateful I forced Kurt to bring mine in the car. The ones at the hospital were either to small, or too large, or too firm. My exercise ball was perfectly suited to me as I had spent a lot of time getting the air pressure just right.

I also remember chewing a little bit of ice but ultimately not using it primarily because it prevented me from focusing on my breathing.

The one thing I am most grateful for is my daily prenatal yoga practice. That, more than anything else, helped me get through labor and delivery. I was able to control my breathing and focus on that instead of the pain.

I was also grateful for taking the BESTbirth Hawaii class. It informed me of many of the things that might happen and gave me the tools I needed to problem solve. For example, I was devastated that I was bed bound because of the magnesium but then realized I could still be on my hands and knees in the bed. Instead of seeing it as a problem I focused on making the bed my own personal jungle gym. Having this positive state of mind is what allowed me to stay calm and prevent further interventions.

#1 Help: YOGA
#1 Surprise: birth was not that painful, the massaging of the uterus afterward was!
#1 Wish: I had asked for help with breastfeeding right away
#1 Regret: focusing too much on birth and not researching Harrison's care afterward. We were in the NICU and pediatric wards for one week after his birth and that experience was so difficult because I had no education.

little bit cranky!

7 lbs 14 oz

Big head!

 Getting checked out by the pediatrician with support from Daddy.

 

The most amazing and wonderful nurses!

Snuggles with grandma.

Finally getting feeding down with the help of a lactation consultant while we were in the NICU.

 

What's in a Name?

Harrison James Snyder was born on December 8th, 2015 at 02:04 AM.
He weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and was 20 inches long.

Many people are wondering how we decided on his name, we've been asked if he was named after Harrison Ford or George Harrison (of Beatles fame). Of course, neither of those are the case and we would love to explain his namesake to the world.

Harrison is the name of his paternal Great-great Grandfather (his father's father's mother's father). Harrison Garner Garrett was born on October 14th, 1894 in Waynesville, North Carolina. When World War I broke out Harrison was 20 years old. He tried to enlist in the Navy, but was rejected because of his poor eyesight. On June 15, 1917 Harrison registered for the draft and then enlisted in the Marines on April 1, 1918. Harrison served until March 26th, 1919, a little less than one year. We loved the fact that Harrison tried to serve his country and was denied, but the moment a second chance was given he jumped at it by dutifully signing up for the draft. We thought this was an excellent example for Harrison to live his life by.

James is the name of his paternal great grandfather (his father's father's father). James Edward Snyder was born in 1933 in Lowell, Washington. James served in the Army as a green beret during the Vietnam War. He served as an advisor to the South Vietnamese who were fighting against the Communist North Vietnamese. After serving for many years, James retired from the army and consequently served as an elementary school teacher in Oregon. These acts of service, combined with the special relationship Kurt Jr. has with his grandfather James, warranted a namesake.

Naming Harrison was the most difficult thing we have done for him so far. We have so many wonderfully strong men in both of our families and it was difficult picking just two names. In truth, I wanted to give him a name that was a little bit longer to include more of the great men in our family. Fortunately for Harrison, Kurt reminded me that too many names can be a burden for a young man. Picking a name for a human being is terrifying and intimidating but we hope that Harrison will grow to love his name and appreciate the effort we took to finding the perfect one for him.

The Nursery



I wanted the room to feel like the Forbidden Forest at twilight, very soft and calming. You know, before all the scary things come out to play!

Close up of the mobile; View when you walk in

Bean's nursery is most definitely a Harry Potter theme! But unlike many of the pinterest ideas you may have seen, Bean's is much more subtle. I went for a nursery that would be calming, somewhere I would be happy to accidentally fall asleep and wake up to the sound of his screaming. The tones are grey, beige, yellow, and white. I have tried to include links to all the décor but if I missed something check out my pinterest page on the subject! I had a whole year to think about ideas for his nursery and I must say I love how it all came out!



Mamaroo, Crib, and rocking chair

 The mamaroo was found on craigslist for half the price of one you would buy in the store. This thing is so fancy and amazing! You can control it with your phone. Hopefully Bean will like it! If not, there is always my arms...that is until they fall off.
The crib we bought at the Navy Exchange store (NEX). We were able to use the scratch card coupon as well as a rebate to get it down in price. That was one of the few items I really wanted to buy new. I was nervous about buying an old crib, for fear of safety. The rocking chair is also new and bought at the NEX. I could not for the life of me find a chair that I liked on craigslist. They were all very old and very ugly.


rocking chair and changing table, both with custom artwork above

The changing table was bought new at the NEX, it was a part of a set that matched the crib. When I first bought it, I thought for sure that would be plenty of room for all of his things. Well, add in diapers, clothes, wipes, and every other little thing you didn't realize you needed until you spend hours reading baby blogs (not recommended) and you realize you also need a dresser!

To the right of the changing table is the diaper pail. No review on it yet but hoping that it works out well! You can find it here as well as the liner in slate.

Dresser

The dresser was a steal! I found it, brand-new in the box, at goodwill. The goodwill here in Hawaii has a partnership with Target. Any of Target's remnant furniture gets sent straight to them, it is amazing!! The color of the dresser is a bit hard to see but it is a very dark espresso color. I like this color because I see it growing with Bean and being used until he heads off to college!

To the left of the dresser is a Baby Bjorn rocker and googly eye wooden toy. This is my most awesome steal! I bought the whole thing for $30 from a lady on facebook. If you know anything about Baby Bjorn products you know how great that deal is! Figured I needed something portable in order to take a shower.

Bookshelves snugly hidden behind the door to the
nursery along with a measuring stick for growth

 The bookshelves behind the door were our biggest project. It involved quite a bit of time and effort, but they definitely came out beautifully. Check out the tutorial here on how to make them. I love how these allow the books to be displayed, my only complaint is that they did not hold as many books as I thought they would. Many of his books are hidden away in the closet.









 There were many projects that I completed in Bean's room and the sign above the bookshelf is another one. We had an old piece of plywood in the garage and since I had some leftover stain and white paint I decided to make this guy really quick one evening (can't you tell Bean is my first child? I have time! Haha). The idea was taken from here, but I used my own font and changed the wording a smidgen. If the font I used looks familiar, it is because it is the same used in the printed Harry Potter books: Garamond.





I absolutely love this blanket! It is covered in owls and was made by Bean's paternal grandmother. The yellows and greys really tie the whole room together and make it more obvious that we are having a Harry Potter party in here! It is a fleece blanket and I imagine she bought the fabric from a local craft store.

The pouf was made by me and is supposed to look like a snitch. After I bought the rocking chair, I realized I needed a place to put my feet up. I bought the fabric at a local store here in Hawaii, it is a velvet fabric that is mustard yellow in color. I bought a very cheap bean bag chair and slaughtered it in order to get the stuffing. I found that option cheaper than buying stuffing outright. I sewed the wings on after making the pouf, but realized I should have sewn the wings on before stuffing the pouf. The darn thing was sooo difficult to work with! I used the basic tutorial found here and then sort of "winged it" for the snitch wings. See what I did there?




Crib Mobile

 I based the design for the mobile on one I had found on etsy a very, very long time ago. Unfortunately, that design was no longer available and I had to make my own. There was no tutorial and I had to go with my gut. Luckily, I love crafting! I bought white, beige, brown, and yellow felt along with yellow ribbon for the halo and clear string (you can just use fishing wire) to hold it up. After free-hand cutting the pieces I sewed them together and stuffed them. Only took me about an hour to create and only cost a total of $5! Hooray!










The bedding was one of the few things that I did splurge on. He actually has nicer bedding that we do! The bedding is called Super Star Scout and can be found many different places. It is by Aden and Anais and is a 100% cotton muslin bedding. While he does have this very nice bedding, I also am a realist! I went to Ross and bought some $5 sheets for the times when he is puking or having diarrhea (aka, the first year of his life). This bedding will be reserved for when Santa, in-laws, and the Easter bunny make an appearance.


Bed with star bedding

This little owl bank is really one of the most special things in his room. I painted it at one of those paint-it-yourself places in the mall on the day that I found out I was pregnant. 19 March 2015 will always be remembered because it was the day my dream came true.

The angel care monitor is really too fancy to explain here, but you can find amazon reviews here. Basically, anything that had a high-tech option my husband sprang for! Haha.


The owl money bank that I painted the day we found out we were pregnant with Bean




Frames, ready for his tiny mug, foot, and handprints!

These little hand/foot print and first year frames were too cute to resist! I love the idea of having an excuse to take pictures of him all the time. They can be found here.

I found the idea for the Wingardium Leviosa cross stitch here but couldn't resist adding my own colors and flair to it. I had leftover fabric from the pouf and wanted to tie that mustard yellow color into the room more.












The artwork above the changing table was done by my husband's TALENTED sister. She created the chalkboard frames and wrote the quotes free hand. When I opened them at the baby shower I was so ecstatic I think I didn't say a word. They are absolutely perfect!! I love them so much.



"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light". Definitely need this in my face at 3am after a feeding. Bahahahaha!

 The inspiration for this measuring stick came from my own experience as a military brat. We moved around a fair bit and my Mom would always keep track of our growth on a kitchen wall. When we moved the wall couldn't come with us, so the information was lost. Marrying into the military I knew that I wanted something portable and beautiful. You can find basic instructions here, I used a gray stain and a simple white paint. The quote is from Dumbledore and something that I truly believe in. I am a teacher by trade and feel that this defines so many of my students.

The switch plate was another idea I found on etsy. I changed the colors a little bit to add in the gray that I wanted throughout the room. Only thing I wish I would have done is spray it with some sort of shellac to prevent scuffs. Might have to go back and do that!










Another idea I found on etsy, but the colors/graphics weren't perfect! I wanted more beige, grey, and mustard yellow. Using PowerPoint I created my own poster and then printed it off for $10 on shutterfly.com.

Bean's actual picture along with some of the necessary books

 I was so happy to receive a copy of the ILLUSTRATED version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. This means I might be able to introduce Bean to my favorite series earlier than expected. Hooray! You can order your copy here.




The two outfits I will bring with me to the hospital. Notice the size difference! I am hoping he is more likely the size on the left than the size on the right!





Air Force brat!

Finding Bean

Our journey to getting pregnant began long ago, in a country far, far away. Haha! Just kidding. While we did talk about children while we were stationed in Japan, we didn't think about starting a family until we moved to Tucson, Arizona. By that point, our student loans were paid off, we had bought a house, and we were creating a little nest egg to help us afford the things every child needs (or at least, what we think they need).

We tried naturally for about 3 months before Kurt deployed in 2013. Pregnancy did not happen for us and we were alright with that because we knew we could try again when he returned. After his return we tried naturally again for another 6 months. I was more hopeful upon his return because I thought the birth control drugs would have completely worked their way out of my system. When we continued to have problems we decided to see a specialist.

After seeing the specialist for several months, enduring many tests and several IUIs (intra-uterine inseminations) we decided to opt for exploratory surgery. On June 15th, 2014 I underwent a hysteroscopy. They sedated me, filled my stomach cavity with air, and made three small incisions. One through my belly button and two right about where my ovaries are. They looked on the outside of my uterus as well as inside with tiny cameras. They discovered that I had endometriosis as well as polyps on my left ovary and fallopian tube. Fortunately, they were able to remove both issues!

Recovery from the surgery was painful and it was about a week and a half before I was able to feel like myself again. Our doctor told us that the surgery would hold back the endometriosis for about 6 months but that, unless I became pregnant, the endometriosis would grow back.

We started up again with the IUI routine. Every month I would inject myself with hormones and swallow pills, take Kurt's sample to the doctor, go through the procedure, and hope that the procedure would work.

Around October 2014 we got our first sign of good news, I was finally pregnant! We were so overjoyed at the news because it meant that I actually could have children. Everything was going well, but at the 6 week appointment (mid-December) we discovered that the pregnancy had miscarried. In many ways, miscarrying so early in the pregnancy was a huge blessing. I did not yet connect with the fetus on an emotional level and I was still riding high on the fact that it was actually possible to get pregnant. I was so filled with joy and excitement over what the future might hold that the miscarriage did not affect me too terribly. I was sad, but I was also relieved that this elusive unicorn called pregnancy could happen for me.

After the miscarriage, on the 19th of December 2014, I had a "D&C" (dilation and curettage) to remove the tissue still inside my uterus. This was the most difficult procedure I had to go through, not because of the loss of the fetus but because of the lack of communication between my doctor and myself. The doctor never told me they were going to give me drugs that would wipe my memory. When I "woke up" from the procedure I was completely disoriented and didn't understand why my pants were being put back on by the aides. The two nurses aides helped me to a recovery room where I laid on a gurney for about 30 minutes. I felt completely normal, except for this nagging feeling that I had been lied to and taken advantage of in some way. The recovery for that procedure was very easy, sort of like having a strong period. The anger I felt towards my doctor is something I still struggle with.

In January of 2015 we started again with the IUI regiment. Our doctor told us that we did not need to wait after the miscarriage and encouraged us to start trying again right away. We gave ourselves two chances to get pregnant via IUI. If it did not work we would spring for the big bucks (~$10,000) and do IVF (in-vitro fertilization). The IUI procedure only cost us about $350 every time we did it and it was difficult for me to wrap my head around spending that much money on IVF, especially with no guarantee! At the same time, I was working full-time which helped very much to support the costs of our pregnancy quest. Of course, between moving and trying to get pregnant my salary for the year was all but spent!

The January IUI did not take and we knew we had one more before we would commit to IVF. We were moving in July and the whole IVF process takes about 3 months. We wanted to give ourselves enough time to have a chance before moving to Hawaii (where IVF starts at $25,000).

Our February IUI was also not successful, instead we conceived Bean naturally!!! The doctor was quite confused when Bean's little sack of cells came on the monitor. Doing the math, he knew that Bean was conceived after the IUI. Part of me was angry we had spent all this money, when what we really needed to be doing was having sex every day of the year! The IUI was not successful because my egg released well after the procedure. My natural cycle is to release an egg about every 6 weeks. The hormone therapy and shots were meant to force my body to release an egg at a certain time. My ovaries were so stubborn that even with drugs they refused to release the egg before it was ready.

Once I knew I was pregnant I had to go to a doctor's appointment every week. They would use a special wand and complete a vaginal ultrasound (I think we have more pictures of Bean in the first trimester than most parents get of their baby in utero for the length of the pregnancy). Every week I would build up my excitement and anxiety, will it still be alive? If it's not what will we do? We can't afford to do IVF in Hawaii! Maybe we would adopt? I don't know if I can do that?! Every week this same stressful cycle would hit me, wave after wave. On top of that I was unable to keep anything down. Puking was the norm and I was starting to feel like I was going to slowly die as this parasite literally sucked the life out of me! In reality, I only lost 8 pounds in the first trimester. Luckily, the hormone treatments had made me a little fluffier so I ended up looking a little lighter than I did in high school (~125 pounds at my lowest weight)!

After the first trimester was over I felt like a completely normal person again. I was so happy! But now we were moving to Hawaii. I was nervous about the amount of stress but set out to plan everything in order to mitigate the stress levels. It definitely helped!

The whole business of moving to Hawaii was not exactly a piece of cake, but it is now over. I can now focus on what is important: giving birth to this child I have wished and hoped for so long.

I am at 36 weeks now. I keep thinking about all the women that are struggling to get pregnant. I wanted to share my story because you need to know you are not alone. I would say about half of my friends have struggled in some way and the other half have had no problems. I was surprised that it did not come easy for me but I truly believe that I needed to go on this journey. I don't know if I would be as excited about having this baby if I didn't have to put so much time, effort, pain, money, and tears into the whole process. My only worry now is (a) spoiling him (b) over-protecting him (c) putting too many expectations on him. It's difficult not to put all your hopes and dreams into your child when you have fought so hard to get him.

Best wishes on your journey, I hope the path you are on leads you to peace and happiness.

Sarah

Let it Snow!

Well, I am finally here in Washington! It took forever! But it was well worth it. Kurt arrived today and now we are hurrying to get everything finished before the day of the wedding.

Today we got a lovely surprise of snow! It is beautiful outside. Although, it took Kurt and his parents an hour to get home from the airport because of it.

My family and I played outside in the snow. Throwing snowballs and sledding down the driveway. It was alot of fun!

Hopefully the weather won't be too difficult for people to get through! The wedding is only a few days away and I would like some guests to show up!

Wish us luck as we continue on this adventure!

San Francisco

Well, it was a lovely day in San Francisco. A little chilly but that is to be expected. We started off going to Lou's restaurant near pier 39. I had a po boy sandwich that was ok, mom the fish and chips, elena noodles, and seth had food (i can't remember exactly).



We then headed off to pier 39 where I bought a shell and some art prints for the future apartment or house. I love pier 39 for the atmosphere but I wouldn't recommend buying most things there (tres expensive!).

We then went to Ghirardelli Square for some delicious ice cream sundaes. I love the traditional one. Mom always gets the foghorn (chocolate ice cream with a raspberry sauce. Seth and Elena both got the one with the brownie on the bottom. Elena loves the maraschino cherries (yuck!). She asked to get some more and the server gave her a cup full! She was in heaven.

Overall the trip was quite perfect. No complains. We even got free parking in our sercret spot! Woo hoo! The next time you want to go to San Francisco give me a call and I can tell you all the great places to go!